Sunday, August 13, 2017

Self Care Sunday...A Story of Love and Self Care

I don't usually blog on Sundays as it is my spiritual sabbath.  Yet I'm still awake on a Saturday/Sunday night so I thought I might try to squeeze in a blog post. This month has been chaotic to say the least, and it's not even halfway over. Today I will raise my hand in church and put a dollar in the mission jar in thanks for my David. Thursday morning I awoke to find him sitting on the edge of our bed, very late for work, and in a cold sweat. He was having chest pains. Thus began the scariest 24+ hours of my life. Neither on of us were a stranger to this drill, so I gave him 3 aspirin and had him sit in the chair while I called 911. I held it together pretty well until we got to the hospital and I went upstairs to find breakfast. Instead I found the prayer chapel, I walked inside and just collapsed in a pile on the floor. Sobbing. My rock, my best friend, my truest love. There was a chance I could lose him and I was terrified. I felt broken. I was so angry. I was shaking and my heart was pounding.

I know, you're probably thinking this has nothing to do with self-care or crafting.... But please, I implore you to read on. 

In case you haven't read any of my previous posts, I had a bad car accident on the 1st of this month. I passed out and was one with a telephone pole. My body is still reeling from that scenario. Thursday I just didn't know what to do with myself. In the excitement of packing the 'ER' bag I forgot to pack my pain medicine and cancelled my heart treatments for the rest of the week, unsure of what the next 24 hours would bring. I didn't take care of me too. I know, that may sound selfish, but if you suffer from chronic illness, if you don't take care of you you'll be pretty useless to those who need you. By the time they decided they were going to keep him, David urged me... well he pretty much told me to go home and rest. I was crying at the drop of a hat and in a great amount of pain. I didn't want to tell him that. All I wanted was to be there for him. But what good would I be? David had a fantastic nurse named Sheva who assured me that if there were any changes that she would call me and that he was in good hands. He was.  I kissed him on the forehead, told him how much I loved him and I felt like I was abandoning him. He assured me that I wasn't. Somehow he knew he was going to be ok. I am still struggling in my faith a bit, but I had to believe that he was going to be fine. The bus and train ride home was awful, I think I cried the whole way. That night I drowned my sorrows in pizza, not my best choice. I prayed all night, and called for prayer for David from all of our friends and family. They apparently prayed for me as well because I finally got some rest. I slept, slept hard, and woke up with my heart at peace, and a text from David saying that he had just finished up with his stress test. 

Self care, especially in a crisis situation is key. It helps you slow down and focus on the non-crisis to give your heart and mind peace, which helps you deal with your crisis better. I wish I could have told myself this three days ago. I'm saying them to you now. Stop, breathe, and take care. Friday, my prayers were answered and David came home; just a wake up call. Now we have a path to follow with better food and exercise. I have to stop and learn to take care of myself, because I'm still recovering from those two days. My husband has his 'bug out bag' prepared for times of crisis... full of food, knives, and other survival tools.... ladies, you need to have your own 'bug out bag' in times of crisis. No, do not fill it with wine or pharmaceuticals... you need to be clear headed in time of crisis, but do fill it with other things that make you feel good. Items of self-care....

1. A good book, spiritual or not... but not something too intense
2. A candle or scented oil that calms you...
3. A coloring book or something creative to distract your mind
4. chocolate
5. pictures of good times
6. a comfortable shirt
7. lip moisturizer
8. lotion... something that smells good and calming... for your face and arms.
9. a happy playlist
10. a great bag to put all of this in.....

Have this bag at the ready... because you never know what life can happen at the drop of a hat. It's now almost three in the morning and I'd like to be awake for church in the morning.... 

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