Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Take it Easy Tuesday...My life as a Home Maker

Over the past year I have been told time and again to 'Take it easy'....  I have the tendency to go 100MPH with my hair on fire, and when you have a chronic heart condition and other health issues it gets me in into trouble, which means the ER. Mondays for me are usually my 'sabbath', as Sundays are full of church, running around doing last minute errands with David, family things, and our traditional big Sunday dinner. Being full time homemaker I don't really have a 'day off'.... laundry has to get done, groceries need to be got, house needs to be cleaned, calendar managed, pets cared for... it's not like I sit around eating bon bons watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (I can't stand reality TV for one thing... real housewives cannot afford Prada house slippers, and I certainly can't afford a maid). Anyhow, I spend my Monday's usually blogging, catching up on my shows (This is Us, Outlander, and Big Bang Theory),  or creating something in my craft room. Tuesdays I start off slow with a load of laundry, unloading the dishwasher, and cleaning one room of the house. This year my health issues have wrought havoc in my home... and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. My house is not my house anymore. Right now I feel like I need to purge.... to through stuff and just get rid of it. David and I have been married for almost 20 years now and together for 22 and between the both of us we've accumulated a lot of STUFF. Stuff I don't even know exists anymore, like a Coca Cola thermometer I found the other day in a box in the hall closet, at least six boxes of stuff under our stair case that I have NO clue what's in there. We need a new couch, the carpets need to be cleaned (professionally), my craft room looks like it's exploded and I think there are house elves living in my bedroom closet.  Yes, I do have a flair for the dramatic... and, yes this is my life as I know it.  I once received this comment from a woman who learned I  was a home maker with no children... 'Well darling, you're just your husband's maid...' It took every bit of energy in my being not to reach through the internet and throat punch that snarky twit. Oh Hell to the no. David and I have been together a total of 22 years, we lived together almost six months before we were married, and since the day I moved in to our first apartment (the glorified broom closet one bedroom) we've been partners. Even now, now that I am home and he is working full time. There was a time when we were both working full time and going to school, then when I was working full time and he was at home... yes the roles were reversed there. Since my doctors decided it was better for my health that I take a step back from corporate America and the 50+ hour work week I was taking on as a database developer, I have been a happy home maker. My power career peers thought I had sold out, my real friends cheered me on, and I stepped into a realm where I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Seriously. Since I was 16 years old I have always worked, either part time while going to HS and college, to 24/7 when I was in the Navy, then working and going to school full time, and then working crazy salary hours at my final career. I've always had structure. Now, I'm my own boss.... I take that back. I'm not my own boss... because the dishes will not take themselves out of the dishwasher and the laundry certainly will not fold on it's own and put itself away. David and I share the load, he likes to cook, so I let him. He also does laundry, takes care of the cat box, and lift the heavy stuff. I'm no Martha Stewart, but I like to have my house tidy.... and it doesn't have to be perfect. I don't want people to be afraid to be comfortable in my home. My mom has always prided herself on having a nice home, but one that you can come in and be comfortable in, be yourself in, and LIVE in it. Yes, we used coasters and ate with utensils... LOL... but we also piled up on the couch and got comfy, had picnics in our living room, and built forts with the couch cushions. I want my nephews to be able to visit and not be afraid they're going to break something, and to have fun and play in our house. We even have an extensive collection of Legos.... that are ours. Yes. We play with them too.... 

Back to the structured part of my life... there are three days that I look forward to... Saturdays.... time with the hubby, my morning AA meeting and time with my sponsor, Sundays which is time with my family... my family and my church family and worship. Then, there is Monday, which I have reserved for myself as my 'sabbath'... a time to rest from the week's events and reflect. Like I mentioned before, David and I have no children. Not a conscious decision, just biology and bad plumbing on my part. God has other plans for our life, and we are content with that. Took a long time for me to get over the pain of infertility for, but I am now content with being the 'crazy Aunt' with purple hair and extensive collection of nerdy movies and toys. Life happens when you're making plans... totally. I get strange looks sometimes when people ask what I do and I say home maker, and they give me this bug eyed look waiting for me to blurt out some over the top career like astrophysicist or neurosurgeon. It's kinda funny. Sort of. In the 50's women were expected to stay at home, fetch the slippers and have dinner on the table by six o'clock. Now women are taking their lives back, fighting for the right to choose to either stay at home, or be a career woman with EQUAL PAY. The roles have evolved in many ways. I can deal. I am happy with my life, who I am, and how I contribute to the world around me. 

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